


first girl I loved

by violntine



Category: Descendants (Disney Movies)
Genre: Angst, F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-01
Updated: 2018-03-01
Packaged: 2019-03-25 14:12:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13836450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/violntine/pseuds/violntine
Summary: Evie loves Mal, Mal loves Evie.But Mal isn't ready to accept herself and finds comfort in a prince instead of a princess.





	first girl I loved

Evie misses the way their hands fit perfectly together; the way her fingers danced in the palm of Mal's hand before intertwining.

She misses the way it was so easy to wrap herself around the smaller girl after a day of mischief in their bed at the hideout, savouring the feeling of warm skin against hers and the way Mal subconsciously ran her fingers through her cerulean locks until she was sound asleep.

_(This Mal is the one she loves the most, she thinks to herself before darkness completely takes over. The Mal that's only reserved for her.)_

She misses the way it was only her and Mal against the world. Jay and Carlos too, of course, but the bond they shared was nothing compared to what her and Mal had. No, what they had was more than two friends simply looking out for one another, and although it mostly remained unspoken between the two, she knew it was real. The way goosebumps rise on her skin whenever Mal merely glances her way is enough to convince her of that. 

They stay quiet about it; leaving chaste kisses in the dark for only them to know about because emotions and love aren't exactly an acceptable thing on the Isle, and if anyone, especially their parents, knew about it, things wouldn't end well for the two girls. 

Evie doesn't like the taste left on her tongue after agreeing to keep their relationship a secret, nor the way her stomach settles in knots like it's warning her not to let this happen. But it's Mal, and she's never really been capable of saying no to Mal.

Nights of cuddles, laughter and brushing of lips remain a regular occurrence on the Isle, so Evie forgets the forewarning her own body was giving her. 

Forgets when one night, through their drowsy state, Mal mutters a low 'I love you'. Evie doesn't know if Mal knows that she's awake, so she keeps silent and keeps those three words and Mal close to her heart.

————————

In Auradon, things change. 

Their nights of intimate moments are swept away and replaced with plotting for their plan to steal the wand, which is fine, because Evie understands the heavy weight of having their parents relying on them to get them off that damned island. 

And she understands that having Mal going out with Ben is just a ploy to get her at the front during Coronation, but she can't deny the way jealously seeps through her veins when she helps her friend get ready for her date and is forced to let her go.

_Friend. Evie wonders if that's what they are here. All they'll ever be._   


Evie forces herself to believe that things will go back to normal once everything is over, and they can go back to late nights of talking until there's nothing left to say and there's only the sound of their breathing; the sound of them coexisting. 

Evie doesn't know how wrong she is until the day comes for the execution of their scheme and she's left to watch as Mal confesses to wanting to be good and happy, and that Ben makes her happy. That she wants to be with Ben.

Her heart sinks down, down, down to the bottom of her stomach, and a mocking voice whispers in her ear, warning that they knew this would happen.

————————

They stop touching completely after months of being in Auradon, unless it's only briefly and involves Evie fitting Mal for an outfit for the many events she has with her prince. 

She ignores the way her fingertips prickle from skimming across bare skin; the same skin that kept her warm all those months ago.

She ignores everything about Mal that made her so loveable on the Isle until one day it's suddenly too much, and she can't stop herself from confronting her because she's tired of pretending that what they had was nothing and that she isn't slowly dying inside from watching the girl she loves fall in love with someone who isn't her. 

"Do you love him?" 

Her voice cuts through the heavy air of silence one afternoon when it's just the two of them, Mal sprawled out across her bed with her sketch book wide open. Once upon a time, Evie would relish their time alone, but now Mal's presence makes her heart hurt with both adoration and agony, and she isn't sure which one's worse. 

Mal looks up, her brow arched in surprise and confusion at the abrupt question. Evie refuses to gentle the intent stare she has fixated on the purple-haired girl, and she continues before Mal can ask what she's talking about. 

"Do you love him like you love me? Like you _loved_ me?" Her words are sharp-edged and leave cuts on the inside of her mouth, but by now Evie's so used to the pain she doesn't stop to think about how she's tugging on strings of her heart that were better remained untouched. 

"I..." Mal starts, but pauses, chewing on her bottom lip like she's carefully contemplating on what to say. "What are you talking about?" 

"You know what I'm talking about. That night, on the Isle, I heard you say you love me. Did you mean it?" Evie's impatient now for a proper answer, so she stands up from the sewing table and crosses the room so she's standing at the edge of Mal's bed. 

There's another pause and this time Mal avoids eye contact, keeping her gaze cast downwards on the drawing she was currently doing of her and Ben. 

Evie pays no attention to it, only focusing on Mal and how what is only a few seconds of waiting for an answer feels like an eternity. 

"Well?" She asks again, this time letting her restlessness show in her tone. 

Mal obviously gets the hint because soon enough she's giving an answer, but it's not the one Evie wanted. 

"I love him and only him, Evie. Whatever you heard... you must've imagined it." 

It's a blow to her already damaged heart and although she came into this conversation with the intent of getting nothing but the truth out of Mal, she isn't sure she can will herself to listen to anything else that will cause her to break down right there and then. 

The silence returns again and this time, it's Evie who's incapable of saying something, anything, in return. All she can do is stare, the tears in her eyes ready to fall. 

"Is that all you had to say?" Mal questions with slight malice behind her voice, whether it be intentional or not.

How Evie is able to get the next couple words out is beyond her, but they're there, hanging between them and all the forgotten spark-filled moments they shared. 

"I loved you. I still do, Mal, and I don't think I'm ever going to stop. It's a part of who I am now, you're a part of who I am whether I want you to be or not. I just... I thought you might've felt the same way, but I guess I'm wrong."

A profound exhale of air escapes her lips as she shakes her head, bringing her hand to wipe her tear-stained cheeks. Without another word, she turns on her heel and walks to leave the room, only offering one last glance back to the girl she loves when she's about to shut the door. 

And in that moment, she's sure she sees something close to sadness in Mal's pale complexion and eyes, something screaming that she's sorry for everything, for all the hurt that Evie's gone through because of her. 

But the damage is already done, and all Evie can do now is cry until she's numb to the pain.

**Author's Note:**

> so basically I just finished watching first girl I loved and it broke me and inspired me to do another angsty thing for mevie,, so here you go
> 
>  
> 
> I suggest you go watch the film bc it really is amazing but be prepared to cry!!


End file.
